Te Busque
by Skatinggirl2011
Summary: Johanna Espinosa, a 24 year old Betazed, is finishing up her last year at Star Fleet Academy when she meets James T. Kirk, and her whole world changes. KirkxOC
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Thanks for reading my story, that means a lot to me. Reviews would be awesome, so if you could just click that little button at the bottom of the page, and write a quick review, that would be amazing! Well, on with the story ****:)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the original characters in this story**

I stared down at my water, my chest quickly rose and fell. It was a pretty rough day today; one of the toughest days I've had in a while. I felt pretty dizzy, and unbelievably weak; it didn't help that school was getting tough too. I had issues translating this one language I'd never seen before until today, which caused Spock to get on my case because I hadn't read ahead like Uhura had- Uhura's my competition for the top spot in Spock's class. I wanted to punch that bitch in the face for stealing my spot, and the only reason she has the top spot at the moment is because Spock's got the hots for her; but that won't last for long, because I'm going to kick her ass in finals this week-

My thoughts were interrupted by the margarita that had just been slid across the small table, followed by a man sitting down across from me. "You looked like you needed a drink," he answered my quizzical look I was giving him. He had a small smirk on his face, as he smoothly said, "Jim Kirk," he held out his hand as if I were going to shake it. I didn't, I still sat there staring curiously at him, and then back down at the margarita.

I reached out, and grabbed the drink, holding it up to my nose, and sniffing it. I took a sip while watching him, along that smirk still playing on his face- probably because I was acting strangely.

"So everything's good? Am I okay?" he asked, jokingly, as an innocent smile replaced that smirk.

I took another sip of the drink, and set it back down. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So, may I have a name, so I know what to call such a beautiful lady like yourself?"

I could feel myself blushing at his complement; I'd never really thought of myself as beautiful. I drank the rest of the margarita, before quietly replying, "Johanna." Jim ordered two more margaritas for us.

"What was that?" Jim held a hand behind his ear as if it would help him hear well. "I couldn't quite hear."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "Oh shut up, I know you heard me!" I managed to say in between the laughter. I downed the other margarita, before repeating, "Johanna."

"Last name?" he prodded.

"Espinosa." My head started buzzing, probably due to the combination of no food and alcohol. "Johanna Espinosa."

"It's nice to meet you," he smiled, and ordered two more drinks as we finished off another margarita.

"You're trying to get me drunk, aren't you?" He laughed as I took another sip of the new margarita.

"No, not necessarily; I mean, you don't have to drink the drinks."

"Oh whatever, " I stood up from my chair, wavering a little bit, and hiccupped. "Do you want to dance? I can't sit still anymore, I'll go crazy if I have to sit any longer."

Jim simply laughed, and pointed out, "There's not any music."

"So," I reached out and grabbed his hand, leading him towards a clear space in the bar.

* * *

I shot up in bed, frantically looking around at the unfamiliar setting, on the verge of a panic attack because I couldn't remember where the hell I was, or how I'd even gotten here. Then it hit me like the bad hangover I was currently experiencing. Kirk, the alcohol, the dancing, going back to Kirk's dorm- it was all coming back to me now. I looked around the room, which was empty except for the mess that went along with the whole guys dorm vibe.

I rolled out of the bed, grabbed the top sheets, and wrapped them around me, seeing as I couldn't find my clothes; I walked out of the room, and into the living room, and found my clothes on the floor in front of the couch. I'd lost control last night- not as bad as it normally gets, but it was still pretty bad. Would I tell Logan, or should I just keep it a secret? No, I couldn't tell him, after all the other times something like this happens- it gets scary.

I slipped on my clothes, and quietly slipped out the door. I dashed out of the dorm building, hoping nobody would see me. Unfortunately, once I made it out successfully, I heard the last person I'd wanted to see me calling my name. Taking a deep breath, I turned around to face the man who was keeping me from being the top of the class: Spock. I put on a fake smile, and commented innocently, "Lovely morning isn't it? I was actually just on my way to your class." I laughed nervously, looking down at my feet to avoid looking at him. "You know, the class which I'd be number one in if you hadn't given that spot to Uhura. So yup, I get to be number two; good ol' number two." There I was rambling again, looking like an idiot probably.

"Did I just see you coming out of the guys' dorm?"

'Oh shit!' I thought, "he caught me; lie and just tell him you were walking by- wait don't, he'll catch you lying, and then there goes your chance of getting that top spot; just play it cool.' "Oh, is that what that building was? Huh, I thought that was my dorm building. Whoops, I guess that's what happens when you drink too much to the point where you don't know where you are. One of the many downfalls of alcohol." I laughed nervously again, and looked back up at Spock to see his expression- it was blank as always.

"Johanna, you know it's against the rooms to be in the guys' dorm this early in the morning, and at night."

"Yeah, I know." I tried reading his mind to see if he was planning on getting me in trouble- and if he was, to try and change his mind to let me off the hook. Unfortunately, he blocked me out. "It won't happen again. Now can I go now? I have to stop by my room, and I don't really want to be late for class." He nodded, and I sped off towards the girls' dorm.

* * *

I took my usual spot under the shady oak tree that was located on the front lawn. My class hadn't gone too well. I wasn't able to concentrate at all, partially because of the nasty hang over I was experiencing, and partially because I couldn't block out the thoughts of the other people around me in the class (which, again, was due to the hangover; I normally never had issues blocking out other people's thoughts if I didn't want to hear them). I felt frustrated since I couldn't focus, and finals are tomorrow.

I reached into my bag, and pulled out my notes and textbook for Xenolinguistics, and began to study. The breeze was nice considering how hot it was outside. I closed my eyes, taking in the wonderful summer afternoon, and allowed myself to relax for just a moment before I went back to studying.

What was the point of even studying though? I knew this stuff page for page, and could speak each language fluently, but something drove me to do it- probably the need to beat Uhura, and knock her down from that top spot. I flipped mindlessly through the notes, mindlessly, looking at the words I'd already memorized.

"I thought I might find you here."

I looked up from my book, and saw Logan looking down at me, and smiling. "Yup, you know me." I laughed nervously as he sat down beside me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I quickly brushed it off. "Are you okay, Jo?"

No I'm not. "Yeah I'm fine, I just kind of need to study, I'm really nervous about tomorrow; I'm sorry, I just really need to get back to studying." 'Liar, you just don't want him finding out you cheated on him with some random guy at the bar.'

"Okay, I understand. Are we still on for tonight?"

I began to nervously pick at the grass around me, as I mumbled, "Um, actually I have to work tonight, and then I'm going to study more afterwards. I'm really sorry, I just want to do extremely well." Logan nodded, and began to get up; I grabbed his hand, and pulled him back down, placing my hand gently on his cheek. "I'm seriously sorry, Logan, don't be mad at me; I promise we'll do something after finals."

He laughed, and said, " I'm not mad; disappointed is the proper word for it."

"Well, don't be. Now, let me get back to studying." I quickly kissed him, and went back to studying while he got up and left.

I was able to study for about five minutes before I was interrupted again. Kirk was walking towards me

"Hey," he called out, as he got closer. I waved at him, and began to pick at the grass again; he took the liberty of sitting down next to me.

"How are you doing?" I blurted out, still focusing on the grass, rather than him.

Kirk laughed, as he replied, "I guess I'm doing well." I could feel him staring at me; I refused to look at that face- that face that made my heart melt; that boyish, yet masculine, face I'd seen for the first time last night. How crazy is that? I just met him, and I was already feeling that way. 'Man, I wish I had a drink right now.' Instead, I pulled out a cigarette, and lit up. I heard him laugh, and ask, "Are you avoiding me?"

I choked a bit on the smoke, and began coughing before I managed to say, "No, of course not." Another lie; I was turning into my mother. I forced myself to look at him; my heart did a somersault into my stomach.

"You're not much of a smoker, are you?" he pointed out, and took the cigarette from me, putting it out on the ground. I had to laugh at that; it was true, I wasn't. It was just one of those rare things I did whenever I didn't have anything to distract me.

I gave him a shy smile like a child would give his parents after doing something he knew he'd get in trouble for. "You caught me, I guess."

"Good, it's not healthy."

"Whatever," I replied, passively, "so, what's up?"

"Oh, you know, just chillin'; I was actually on my way to study for the Kobayashi Maru, but then I saw this lovely lady sitting by a tree, and decided to go and talk to her."

I laughed, and tried to hide the blush I could feel coming on.

"So what are you working on?" he asked, politely.

"I'm studying for my Xenolinguistics final."

"Ooh fun."

"Oh yeah, I'm just having a blast," I said in a sarcastic tone to match his.

"So, you're apparently going to be at the Kobayashi Maru tomorrow?"

"Apparently. Spock wanted me to sit in and get used to it again."

"Again?"

"Yeah, I used to help out with it all the time, but this past year I haven't, so it's going to be interesting." I looked down at my hands, and remembered that grueling test that everyone fails; it's quite painful watching failure. "Are you ready for it?"

"Yeah, I'm going to pass it tomorrow."

I stared at him in total disbelief, dumbfounded at his confidence behind his words. "I don't mean to be the rain on your parade, but it's highly unlikely that's going to happen," I replied, "nobody's ever passed- not saying that you won't be the exception- but it's a slim-to-none chance."

He still had a smile on his face, and simply stated, "Well, I'll be the first. I've got it all figured out."

"Oh really?" This was amusing, I have to say; I couldn't help but smile as I said that.

"Yeah, you want to bet on it?"

I shrugged. "I'm not the betting type."

"Oh, c'mon; what are you risking if nobody's ever beaten it, and you don't believe I can."

I thought about it for a little, and then nodded. "Fine, what are we betting on?"

"If I win, you go on an actual date with me-"

I burst out laughing at his persistence- he'd asked me out on a date last night at the bar, and thankfully, my rational hadn't left me yet; it just left me after. I calmed myself down, and asked, "What do I get if I win?"

"I don't know, what do you want?"

"For you to stop asking me out on dates, " I replied, sarcastically; not really knowing what I wanted.

"Okay."

"I was just joking."

"I know, but you don't need to worry; I'm going to pass anyways."

I rolled my eyes, and began to pick at the grass again. "Whatever."

Kirk began to laugh again, so I smiled an looked over at him.

**Well, there's the first chapter, I hope you guys liked it. Please review! I love getting reviews, even if they're short; they make me feel special :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my goodness, thank you so much for all those wonderful reviews you guys! They really encouraged me to write even more. I'm sorry I didn't get this chapter out earlier, but it turned out to be a really busy past two days; but here it is, the next chapter! I hope you guys like it. It has some more serious parts to it, but then some cute parts too.**

We were walking around campus; Kirk was carrying my bag, and we were walking carelessly and freely, just goofing around and having fun.

"Alright, so I know you're part human because of your accent, but what else are you?" he asked. I had to laugh- he'd picked up on my well hidden Spanish accent, but how on earth did he figure out I wasn't from here?

"Betazed, on my mother's side."

"That's really cool!"

"Um, I guess so."

"So why'd you come over here to Starfleet Academy?"

"My dad wanted me to; he thought it would be good for me to follow in my mother's footsteps."

"You're mother's footsteps?"

"Yeah, she was a Xenolinguist as well; served on the USS Kelvin." I looked down at my feet, hoping I didn't hit a sore spot for him. Luckily, I didn't; I looked over at him, and he seemed fine- I didn't sense any sadness or tension. "What about you? Why'd you come?"

"I had nothing better to do." He was lying- I didn't even read his mind, and I could tell that.

"Seriously, tell me why."

Kirk thought about it for a minute, contemplating telling me or not; then, finally, he said, "Because of my father."

He didn't need to say anymore. I remembered my mom telling me how he bravely took on the captain's spot, and saved 800 people in a mere 12 minutes; but then he died, crashing the USS Kelvin into the enemy ship.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence, before Kirk asked, "What's your favorite color?"

I laughed before saying, "Wow, way to be random! Um, either yellow or orange. What about you?"

"Either green or blue."

It was starting to get late- the sun was already beginning to set, painting the sky with pinks and yellows. I looked down at my watch; it was already eight o'clock; I was 30 minutes late for work. Mike was going to murder me. How'd time slip away so quickly?

"I'm sorry," I quickly said, "but I really need to get to work, I'm already 30 minutes late for work. I'll see you tomorrow thought."

"Alright, bye," he called after me; I had already taken off running towards work.

During work, all I could think about was Kirk, and how happy he made me feel just by being around him. It was ridiculous! I felt like I was back in high school again, not being able to focus on anything except for guys. I have to admit, I felt badly: first off, I need to be focusing on helping kids right now, and then secondly- why didn't I feel like this around Logan? Was I a bad person? No, I couldn't be; stuff like this happens all the time. I'll just tell Logan I don't feel the same way anymore.

"Johanna!" Mike hissed quietly so that only I could hear, "get back to work; you want to get paid, don't you?"

"Sorry, Mike, I'll get right on it," I mumbled, and went over to help a girl who had her hand raised. "Yes, honey?"

"I need help on this math problem," she replied, shyly.

* * *

I got off work around 10:30- a bit later than I had planned- and made my way back to the girls' dorm. I hated walking alone at night; night was never a good time for me. I always needed someone with me, or else I'd start to panic.

"Jo!" And that's all my heart needed to send it into panic mode- it was Logan, and he sounded as if he were drunk. "Jo, I need to talk to you right now!" He was yelling; yelling was never a good sign with him. His thoughts were violent and racing- I needed to get away. I began running as fast as I could, only to be stopped by a forceful arm yanking me back by the waist, and twisting me around to face him.

As he turned me around, I took my hand and slapped him right across the face. "Let me go, Logan!" I screamed.

"We need to t-talk," he stammered; his breath had that alcohol smell to it- it was a typical night for him. Logan was known for drinking; in fact, he was the one that got me into the nasty habit of drinking.

"You're drunk, Logan," I tried to say calmly. "Let's just talk about tomorrow when you're a bit more reasonable-"

And that's when it happened- his right fist came up, and hit me right on the side of my face. I gasped out in pain, and yelled, "What the hell was that for?"

"You were telling me what to do."

"I was not!" There it came again, but right to the eye this time. Tears stung my eyes, as I held them back, trying to look tougher than I was.

"Why'd you cheat on me with Kirk?"

How'd he find out? I didn't think he knew Kirk, or would ever find out about him. "How'd you even-"

"It's not important, Jo, the fact is you cheated on me again. What's wrong with you?"

"I don't love you anymore, Logan!" I'd finally said it, probably not in the way I'd wanted to say it, but I couldn't take it anymore.

I could tell he was going to hit me again, but luckily this time I saw it coming; I ducked, and kneed him in the stomach before breaking out into a full-out run.

I didn't stop until I was safely inside. I stormed up the stairs, and into my dorm room, where I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. My mind was racing again, and I felt both scared and hurt. The entirety of my face felt sore and stinging, and the tears certainly didn't help. I felt out of control again, and to be honest, it sucked.

"Jo Jo, is that you?" Nikki, my roommate, called out from her room. She came out to where I was, and came immediately to my side. "Oh my God, Jo, what the hell happened?"

All I could manage to say was, "Logan."

"Oh, sweetie, you look terrible!" she commented as I looked up at her. "Did he do this to you?" I just nodded- it was all I felt like I could manage, and even that hurt. "Could you have stopped this from happening?"

"No, I didn't even see it coming; he thoughts were too crazy and rapid, and I couldn't figure it out. I'm telling you, I feel so out of control." Wow, I was actually able to say that; well that was a step up.

"I'm going to kill that man," I heard Nikki mutter under her breath.

* * *

Putting on make-up hurt this morning; but it was a necessity today. I had random bruises all over my face, on my arms, and all along my ribcage. I looked like I had been in a boxing match- except I had all my teeth, and my nose wasn't broken. Luckily, I was able to cover up most of the bruises so that nobody could see them- as long as they didn't look too close. Then they would definitely notice the swelling and the bruises.

I walked out of the girls' dorm with Nikki, and we headed over to the main building where the Kobayashi Maru was. From there, Nikki left me to head off to her final, and I made my way over to the simulator room.

I was just in time, for once, and took my seat at the communications console. Kirk came in right after me; he seemed pretty relaxed- he was the first person I've ever seen relaxed before this exam. He confidently took the Captain's chair, and smiled at me, adding a wink when I smiled back.

"You ready to watch me pass?" he asked me casually, while nodding to a man he apparently knew. I only laughed, and turned back to my computer as the exam began.

After a while into the test- Kirk was still acting in a comical way- the power went down, and then came back up seconds later. "Are there any Klingon messages?" he asked me casually.

"No, Captain, I don't." It was weird calling him Captain; he didn't feel like a captain, he seemed too carefree about the whole thing.

"Alright, fire on all enemy ships," Kirk ordered the cabin.

"Captain," the man known as Dr. McCoy spoke up, "Their shields aren't down, we'd waste all of out weapons."

"Are you sure they're still up?" We all looked, and sure enough they were down. Smiling, Kirk took another bite of an apple before saying, 'Fire all weapons."

The whole cabin, including the professors and Captain Pike, watched in amazement as he destroyed the Klingon ship. How the hell did he pass? Nobody's ever passed before!

I looked over at Kirk, and smiled innocently at him, while he walked over to where I was sitting. "So, about that date," he said, smoothly, while basking in his victory.

There was that smile again, the one that made my heart skip a beat. 'God, Jo, stop that!' I told myself. "What about it?" I asked casually.

"When do you want to go?"

I bit my lip. "Whenever."

"Are you free now?"

"A little hasty, aren't you?" I joked around, causing him to laugh a little.

"Just answer, Jo."

I looked down at my watch; it was twelve o'clock, which gave me two hours of freedom before my final. I nodded, and rose up from my chair. "Yeah, I guess so," I told him, still smiling. "I just have to be at my finals by two o'clock."

"I think we could manage that."

He took my hand, and we walked out of the building together.

**Well, there's chapter two, I hope you guys liked it. Reviews are greatly appreciated, so please press that little review button; it won't take that long :)**

**I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey you guys! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. It has been really busy these past couple of days, and I just ran out of time to update; but here it is: the next chapter! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, and will keep me motivated to write more, and thank you to all of you who reviewed already. It means so much to me! You guys are awesome :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for parts of the plot, and the OCs**

We sat at a small, French-styled café, just drinking coffee, and talking. It was a nice atmosphere- very relaxing; which was exactly what I needed. They were having open mike all today, and a guy in his mid-thirties was singing, and playing guitar.

"So, how'd you pass?" I asked him, loudly, over the music.

"I'm just amazing." He had that heart-melting smile on his face again.

I rolled my eyes, and took a sip of my coffee.

_When you can't speak a word, or even shed a tear, and you just don't feel like anyone is near; I'll be there. When you're screaming out loud, and no one hears a sound, and you just don't feel like anyone's around; I'll be there. _

I hadn't heard that song in such a long time; it was such a relaxing song as far as the words and instrumental music went.

"So, are you ready to pass your exams?" Kirk asked.

I nodded, with a smile on my face, and said, "Hell yeah; I know this stuff like the back of my hand."

He laughed at me. "That's such an old expression."

"Well, I like it." Kirk laughed again.

"It's, um, cute."

"Whatever."

"Whatever," he mimicked, and I slapped him, playfully, on the arm.

We received some nasty glances from the people around us; Kirk and I were apparently distracting people from listening to the music, and they looked a little irked.

"Hey, do you want to sneak out of here, and go someplace else," Kirk asked, also picking up on the fact people were getting annoyed with us.

"Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?"

He thought for a little, and then said, "I don't know; do you just want to walk around?"

"Okay, that sounds fine." We got up from the table, and walked out of the café. Kirk put his arm around me, as we walked across campus, laughing and having fun; at least until Dr. McCoy came up to us, bearing some bad news.

"The Starfleet brass needs you at an official inquiry right now," he told Kirk. "They found out you entered a subroutine into the computer."

I knew it! He cheated, which makes all the sense in the world. Why didn't anyone else think of doing that? I mean, it's probably the only way to pass.

"Damn it," Kirk muttered under his breath. "Sorry, Jo," he said, as all three of us walked over to the "court room" of Starfleet Academy.

"No worries," I simply told him, as we took our seats up near the front.

While Kirk and Spok were hashing it out, they were interrupted by Captain Pike announcing that they'd just received a distress call from Vulcan, and that everyone, including Academic Cadets, were to immediately board dispatch ships to begin a rescue mission.

There was a huge commotion, while all of us made our way over to the hanger. I found Nikki, and we gathered around one of the professors who was reading off the ship assignments.

We waited a bit until she finally announced, "Nikki Eighan- USS Enterprise. Johanna Espinosa- USS Enterprise." My heart just about stopped when I heard Nikki and I were both on the USS Enterprise- which was any Starfleet Cadets' dream.

We both ran over to the dispatch ship for the Enterprise, and checked in with Spok.

* * *

I couldn't believe I was actually on the Enterprise; it was a dream come true- along with my mother's. Too bad she wasn't here to see it. I was sitting at my assigned area, with all the other cadets in my same field, listening for any distress calls. So far, there were none, which was really strange considering we'd received distress calls from Vulcan before we took off.

"Johanna, have you heard anything?" Uhura asked me.

"No," I snapped, "I haven't." My stress levels were rising just by being around her. I needed to find Nikki before I lost it.

I don't really know why she made me so stressed out; maybe it was because I felt like I always had to be better than her in everything, and that was exhausting.

"Well, just let me know if you do."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

The only thing that was keeping this day from going down in history as one of the best days ever was Uhura. However, I'm not going to let that bring down a perfect day; that would be stupid.

"Uhura," I heard Kirk yell. "Uhura, what exactly did the Klingon transmition say-"

"Oh my God, what's wrong with your hands?" she yelled out in surprise. I turned around in my seat to see what was going on. I saw Kirk standing there with Uhura- his hands were grossly swollen.

"Who is responsible for the Klingon attacks? And was the ship-" then his sentence became slurred to the point where nobody could understand what he was saying.

"What?" Uhura asked, slightly annoyed with Kirk.

Kirk turned to McCoy, and asked, "Whab's wrong wib by tongue?"

"You've got numb-tongue?" he replied.

"Numb-tongue?!"

"I can fix that!" Then Dr. McCoy pulled out a shot, and injected whatever it was into Kirk's neck.

"Uhura, I think what's he was trying to ask if the ship that ambushed the Klingon's ship was Romulan," I told her, having read Kirk's mind while he was having issues with McCoy.

"Yeah, why?"

""Come with me," Kirk said, and he, McCoy, and Uhura took off running.

I was unbelievably confused; what transmition?" Uhura had found a Klingon distress call, and didn't tell me? We were supposed to be partners while on the USS Enterprise, and we were required to tell the other partner if we found anything.

I stormed out of the room, and headed up to find Nikki.

I found her in the medical area, rounding on some of her patients. "Nikki, I need to talk to you."

"Jo, I'm kind of busy right now." Nikki was shining a light into the patient's eyes.

"I really need someone to vent to; I highly doubt your patients would mind me venting, would you?" I asked her current patient; he shrugged.

"I don't care," he answered.

"Fine, what's up?"

I started to vent to her about everything that had happened the past week with Logan, Kirk, Uhura, and how she was getting on my nerves, along with this constant dizzy feeling, and this nasty pain all along my left side. I basically told her all the little things that had built up, and my confused thoughts about Kirk.

We moved on to the next patient, while I wrapped up my venting; it felt amazing to finally get it all out- like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"I know it's nothing to be stressed over," I told her, "it all just got built up, until I felt totally overwhelmed. Nikki looked down at the patient's chart, looking as if she wasn't listening. "Are you even listening to me?" I yelled.

"Hold on," she muttered, impatiently. "I'm thinking right now, and trying to do my job; chill out for a second." She went through the usual check-up procedure, before finally saying, "It's actually quite a lot to go through, especially added onto the stress of finals; it's normal to feel this way. As far as Kirk goes, follow what you feel is right-" That's all I heard before everything turned black.

**Well, there's the chapter; I hope you guys liked it. I'm sorry if some dialog didn't match up with the movie; I'm going off memory right now. Review please ****:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry to leave you guys at a cliffhanger; that was mean of me, but I love my cliffhangers! Well, anyways, thanks for the awesome reviews, keep them coming please! You guys keep encouraging me to write more, it's so awesome. So, here's the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: If you need one, look back at the other chapters, it's still all the same.**

_There was snow everywhere, and I was running from something. I looked back behind me, and there was this huge red creature chasing me. Why wasn't I running any faster? Was this the fastest I could go? I tried speeding up, but tripped. I didn't feel like myself; I felt like someone else. I quickly jumped up onto my feet, and continued running away. I looked down at my hands, but they weren't my hands- they were too big to be my hands. They were Kirk's. Suddenly, I stumbled down a large, snowy slope-_

"Is she going to be alright?" I heard Nikki ask.

"She's in stable condition for the time being. If she agrees to take it easy the next couple of days, she should be fine," Dr. McCoy answered.

Stable condition for the time being? Were they talking about me? I was so lost; I couldn't remember anything after talking to Nikki, except for that strange dream I had.

I slowly opened my eyes, only to see a blinding light, setting off a bad headache. I moaned, and yelled, "Someone turn off the light!" The bright light turned off, and I could finally see Nikki and Dr. McCoy standing over me. I looked around, and discovered I was in a hospital bed. "What the hell happened?" I screamed; the panicky feeling washed over me- I hated not knowing things.

"You had a seizure that was caused by a subarachnoid hemorrage, that could've been fatal if we hadn't done something," McCoy simply replied, as if it were nothing.

"What? Speak in regular peoples' language, not in medical speak please, 'cause what you just said went over my head."

"You had a ruptured brain aneurysm that caused you to have a seizure, and you could've died if we didn't do anything."

"I could've died?" I asked in disbelief. McCoy nodded. "I could've died." It was all starting to sink in. "I could've died." I felt a panic attack coming on; I couldn't breathe; I couldn't think straight. I felt the tears starting to fall.

"Jo, Jo, calm down," Nikki whispered, "it's okay, you're still alive. You're fine." She gently hugged me. I felt as if I were fragile- like I could easily be broken with a single touch, It was an awful feeling; I hated it.

"Johanna, I would caution you to stop drinking and smoking, along with getting into some rough scruffs. All these things could lead to another ruptured aneurysm," McCoy added, while Nikki was still hugging me.

"You mean I can't smoke anymore?"

"It would be wise not to."

"Well, that's just great," I said, sarcastically; well, there goes my coping skills. "So, how long have I been out for?"

"Two days."

"Where's Kirk?" McCoy and Nikki both looked at each other. "What?"

"Um, we think he's on Delta Vega; Spock ordered him off the ship-" Nikki answered, and trailed off.

I quickly rolled out of bed, only to collapse onto the floor. I slowly rose back onto my feet, and walked carefully out of the room, before realizing I had no clue where I was. "Where are we? This isn't Sickbay."

Both Dr. McCoy and Nikki were immediately at my side, steadying my. "Sickbay was damaged, so we had to move all of our remaining patients up behind the transport room, " Nikki explained to me, as she and Dr. McCoy began to lead me back to bed. I struggled, but failed.

They forced me into bed, and McCoy explained, "You need to stay in bed; you're not well enough to be walking around."

I was back to feeling fragile and hopeless again; I couldn't do anything except for lay in bed. I stopped fighting against them, while Nikki injected something into my arm. "What's tha-" I began to ask, until I started to feel extremely tired, and quickly fell asleep.

"Don't let him in here; she needs her rest," I heard Nikki order.

I opened my eyes, which was surprisingly hard to do, and looked around. My arms were strapped to the bed, and two nurses were attempting to keep Kirk out.

"I'm not going to do anything, I just want to see how she's doing since you aren't telling me," he tried to explain, but they still wouldn't let him in.

That panicky feeling was coming back again. I needed to get out of this bed, and this room. "Nikki, why am I strapped down? I'm not liking this! What ever happened to making the patient comfortable? I am certainly not comfortable," I yelled.

Nikki left the nurses' side, and came over to my bed. "We wanted to make sure you didn't get up and leave. It's for your own safety."

"Well, God damn it, unstrap me, I hate this! I promise I won't leave," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Jo," was all she said before leaving my side to get Kirk out of the room.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I hated this! I just wanted to be free, and be able to go anywhere. I hated this stuck feeling, and the fact I was missing all the action.

I stared at the ceiling until everything became quiet, and everyone left the room.

* * *

"Jo," someone whispered, "Jo, are you up?" I shot up in bed, and looked towards the entrance to the room. Kirk was quietly standing there, looking at me. He smiled, and quickly, but silently, walked over to my bed, unhooked the arm restraints, sat me upright, and hugged me. He was nice and warm; it was I nice change from this cold bed. "How are you doing?" Kirk asked, while I scootched over to make some room for him in the tiny bed.

"Better." I smiled, as he climbed into bed, and held me close. "I just need to get out of this bed! I hate being confined here. Are you okay? I heard you were sent to Delta Vega. How'd you get back?"

"I'm just awesome," he simply replied, answering both questions with a single answer.

"Of course you are," I commented, sarcastically, and he ruffled my hair. "Hey, stop that! I might not have access to a brush for a little while."

"So, what happened?" he asked, seriously, "How'd you wind up in here?"

"I almost died because of a ruptured aneurysm. No biggie." I blew off the huge deal it was for me.

"No biggie?" he was laughing in disbelief, and then said, "You could've died, and yet you say 'no biggie'?"

"Yeah, I could've, but I didn't; so it's all good. Don't worry about me, I'm fine now."

"I wasn't worrying," he lied, "I was just shocked."

I only laughed, and said, "Sure, sure."

"So, are you well enough to get out of bed?"

"I think so," I lied, knowing the doctors wouldn't like it; but I just couldn't stand it anymore.

"What do the doctor's say?"

I bit my lip, and said, "They don't want me to be on my feet."

"Well, how about a wheelchair?"

"Oh, don't put me through that," I pleaded, "I told myself I would never be in a wheelchair-"

"It would get you out of this bed."

I thought about it quickly, before saying, "Okay, fine. I'll do it."

So, Kirk wheeled me out of temporary Sickbay. It felt so good to get out of that dreadful bed, even if I was sitting down.

We entered into the Bridge, and I expected to see Captain Pike; but there the Captain's chair was: empty. "Uhura, I'm demoting you back down to Academic Cadet," Kirk ordered. Why was he giving orders? I didn't think he was Captain. What happened to Pike?

My head was buzzing with questions, as I watched the reluctant Uhura give up her spot, before asking, "Who's going to replace me?"

"Johanna is," he answered, confidently, making my heart jump in surprise- my dream was actually coming true: working, officially, on the Enterprise.

"What?" Both Uhura and I yelled.

"Captain's orders," he answered.

I was so lost; I had no clue what was going on. Obviously Kirk became Captain, but what happened to Pike, and I always thought Spock was supposed to replace him.

Kirk wheeled me over to Uhura's old spot, and went over to the Captain's chair.

"Tventy-three minutes 'til arriwal at destination," a young Russian announced. He was sitting next to me, and whispered, "Hello, My name is Chekov; velcome to the crew."

I smiled, and whispered back, "Thanks."

**Well, I hope you guys liked it. Sorry there wasn't much action, this was more of a filler chapter. The next one will have lots of action in it, I promise. I'm almost half way done writing it, so it should be out soon. Review please! :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey you guys! First of all, I just want to thank those of you who've reviewed, it seriously means a lot to me, and keep them coming please. Anyways, here's the next chapter; after this it's get AU since they haven't made a sequel to the most recent movie. So I hope you all like this chapter; I had a bit of writer's block, but I was able to work through it thankfully.**

**Dixclaimer: if you need one, refer to the earlier chapters.**

"I'm glad you replaced Uhura, I newer liked her," Chekov told me, as we were waiting to arrive at the destination.

"Well, thanks- I think-"

"Johanna, what did I tell you about being out of bed?" I heard McCoy yell.

"She's sitting, so it's not a problem, and I gave her orders to replace Uhura, She has permission to be here," Kirk explained.

Praise the Lord Kirk was Captain now; otherwise, I'd be stuck in that damn bed.

"This is against Doctor's orders," McCoy retorted.

"Oh relax, Johanna will be fine."

"You vere in sickbay?" Chekov asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, but it wasn't a huge deal; it doesn't matter."

"Just make sure she stays seated," McCoy ordered.

"Will do, Bones."

"How are you feeling, Johanna? Do you think you're well enough to do this?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I feel just fine and dandy, Sir." Kirk ushered McCoy off the bridge, and then walked over to me.

"You'll be fine, right?" Kirk asked me, nervously.

"Yes, Captain." Once again, it felt weird to be calling him Captain. He still had that laid-back attitude, even though he was in a real situation. He better know what he's doing- not that I doubted him or anything like that, but I hope he's got it all under control.

"Good, we need your talent." He smiled, and quickly winked at me. Thankfully, nobody noticed.

I turned to Chekov, and asked, "So what are we doing? Nobody's filled me in yet."

"Ve're going after zee Romulan ship, to stop it from destroying zee Earth with zis red matter that creates a black hole," he answered, looking over the readings that were coming up on the screen in front of him.

I sank back into the wheelchair, as I took all of it in. This was the same ship that attacked the USS Kelvin. These were the people- if you could even call them people- who killed so many without mercy. I know that this is a terrible thing to say, but I hope the Captain of that Romulan ship dies.

"Yohanna, are you feeling all right?" Chekov asked, quietly. "You look as white as a ghost."

"Yeah, I feel fine. I was just a bit shocked." The truth was, I wasn't feeling well. I felt terrified, to be honest. Terrified, yet I felt that desire for revenge- in fact, I felt a plethora of emotions I was too ashamed to feel.

"That's understandable; I felt zat vay vhen ve vere first ordered to pursue zee ship; but now, I'm excited."

I has to laugh at that. I was liking this kid. He was a breath of fresh air for me right now. I looked back at Kirk, expecting him to be comically sitting in the Captain's chair; but instead I saw him talking to with Spock. They both looked serious. I wanted to know what was going on.

I did something I told myself I would never do: read Kirk's mind. He was planning on going onto the enemy ship, Narada, and rescue Pike, while Spock destroys the drill. I could feel the blood draining from my face again.

In my opinion, they were heading off to their deaths; but hey, who knows, they might actually pull it off. _Think positively _I told myself _They're going to pull it off; they can do it._ I kept telling myself that, as the minutes ticked by slowly until we finally arrived on Titan.

Kirk quickly walked over to me, pretending to check up on how I was doing. "Good luck," I whispered to him.

"I'll be back, don't worry."

"You better be." Kirk turned back around, and left the bridge with Spock.

They had Spock and Kirk's frequencies up on a huge screen for everyone to see, and monitor. They hadn't looked nervous when they left, but apparently they were- either that, or excited.

Their heart rates suddenly became elevated. All of us on the bridge sat there, nervously watching; waiting to see what would happen.

"Don't vorry, zey'll be fine," Chekov mumbled to me. It seemed as if he was reassuring the both of us, rather than just me.

"I know," I lied. I didn't know, and I was unbelievably nervous- it was that whole unknown feeling that made me nervous. We couldn't predict anything,

Their heart rates went back down again, and so did mine. They were fine now; I just wished they'd hurry up, and get their asses back here.

All we could do was wait, and in my opinion, waiting sucked. I was too impatient and antsy to wait; especially in situations where I didn't know the outcome.

After about ten long and grueling minutes, their heart rates became elevated again, and people from Earth were sending out distress signals. The Romulans had begun to attack, and we were sitting ducks, until we were given commands to attack or something. Everyone around me seemed tense, as they watched the screen anxiously.

* * *

Sulu sent the Enterprise into warp, chasing after the Narada who was chasing after Spock. They were about to fire on the new ship that Spock had acquired. We fired all weapons on the Narada in an attempt to protect Spock, and thankfully, we disabled all their armed weapons.

Then we heard Kirk's voice through our headphones. "Beam us back, Scotty!" I now realized what Spock was doing: he was going to collide with the Narada to destroy it.

_C'mon Scotty, beam them back_ I thought.

We all watched Spock's ship collide with the Narada, igniting the red matter.

The gravitational readings skyrocketed off the charts; a black hole was beginning to form, and was sucking both the Narada and the Enterprise into it, threatening to destroy us all.

Kirk and Spock ran in, and pulled up the Captain of the Narada onto the screen. "Nero," Kirk said, "my crew and I are willing to save you and your ship."

Nero looked disgusted at the thought of being saved by Kirk and Spock. "I would rather watch Romulus die a thousand times, than accept your help," Nero answered.

"Alright then, fire all weapons," he ordered us. We followed his orders, and watched the Narada become destroyed right in front of our eyes. "Sulu, take us out of here."

"I'm trying, Sir, but she's not going anywhere." Tension filled the air again; nobody was ready to face death yet.

"Scotty, we need more power!" Kirk yelled over the intercom.

"I'm giving her all she's got, Cap'in," we heard Scotty reply; our hearts sunk even deeper into our stomachs. I was getting ready for chaos to ensue.

"Well, give her more," Kirk commanded. We felt a huge push forward, away from the black hole. I could feel a huge sigh of relief from the rest of the crew. "Alright, Sulu, take us home," Kirk said, proudly, grinning over at me.

He walked over to me, again, and asked, "Do you want to get out of here?"

I nodded, and he wheeled me out of the bridge, and into someplace secluded from the rest of the people on the ship.

"Well, that was an exhilarating experience, I told him, as he sat down on the floor in front of me, facing towards me.

Kirk laughed. "Yeah, it was worth getting in a wheelchair for, wasn't it?"

"Hell yeah!" He had that smirk on his face- that smirk that made me want to kiss him; but I wouldn't. I was going to take things slow, since all of my past relationships went way too fast, and ended up badly. I don't want that to happen again; I want it to work out. So no kissing until I was sure about it.

"You worried about me, didn't you?" he asked, smugly, causing me to laugh.

I avoided the question; of course I'd worried about him. Everyone did. "You are pompous, aren't you?"

"It turns you on, doesn't it?"

I burst out laughing, and blushed. He still had that loveable smirk on his face. Oh, I really wanted to kiss him- no, Jo, get a hold of yourself. "No, it really doesn't."

There were a few seconds of silence, where we just stared at each other; I could feel his gorgeous blue eyes staring into my soul, to the point where I felt like I was hiding nothing.

"You know what, you're really beautiful," he said shyly. I'd never seen him blush before, but there he was: blushing.

I'd never really considered myself beautiful- it's hard to imagine anyone would consider themselves as beautiful; we'd always find something wrong with ourselves. My eyes were nothing special, just an ugly shade of dark brown, which contrasted my fair complexion. My hair was really the only thing I took pride in; my nice, long, curly, dark brown hair. I thought of myself as an ugly duckling compared to someone like Uhura, or my mom.

I could feel myself blushing again, but I didn't try to hide it this time. "Um, thanks." I was caught off guard. He rose onto his knees, and pushed a piece of hair from my face, and then rested his hand on my cheek.

"I never noticed your freckles before," he added, causing me to blush even more.

My heart was melting again, and I was starting to love that feeling.

He leaned in, and kissed me. _Jo, stop it, stop it- oh fuck it! It feels nice._ I gave in, and kissed him back. It all felt so perfect.

**Well, I hope you guys liked it; I'll try and get the next one out asap. Review please! They mean a lot to me, and keep me motivated :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter to ****Te Busque****, I hope you all like it. I just wanted to say thanks to srslyallison and ICorona23 for review, you guys are awesome! Well here's the next chapter ****:)**

Do you ever get that feeling like this was supposed to happen; that everything going was played out perfectly, and you never wanted that feeling to go away? That's how I felt right now kissing Kirk; our first kiss- that we weren't actually too drunk to remember- was flawless.

"Johanna Maria Espinosa, get your ass back into that wheelchair right this instant," I heard Nikki yell, sounding a bit like a parent. I quickly broke the kiss, and looked over Kirk's shoulder to see a furious Nikki, standing there with a disapproving look on her face. Kirk and I looked at each other, trying not to burst out laughing as he set me back down on the ground, and helped me back into that shitty wheelchair. "Captain, if you don't mind, I need to take Johanna to see Pike, he's requested to see her." She was glaring over at Kirk, while she stormed over to me, and pushed me out of the room.

On the way to the "temporary sickbay", Nikki was going on and on about how I'd disobeyed the doctors' orders, and was scolding me about moving on from Logan so quickly; she told me how she would've never done that back when she was my age. She was 7 years older than me: 32.

"No disrespect, Nikki, but I don't really care," I told her. "This is who I am, and you can either take it or leave it." Nikki stayed quiet for the remainder of the time, and then left when Pike waved her out.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me, although I couldn't understand why he was asking me that when he was the one in a hospital bed.

"I'm doing well, Sir, and you?" I asked politely. Christopher Pike was my uncle on my dad's side, and he'd promised my dad he'd keep an eye on me.

He shrugged. "I've been better," he sighed. "So I heard you were promoted to Communications Officer?" I nodded. "Your mom would be proud."

"Thank you, Sir." There was a long awkward silence before I finally asked, "Is that all? May I go?"

He nodded, and I dashed off- well rolled off, I guess. I was really getting tired of being stuck in this stupid chair.

When we arrived back at Starfleet Academy, I was finally allowed to walk, and they were assigning the Enterprise to Kirk, since he was Captain now; they also promoted Pike to Admiral.

"I think tonight calls for a celebration," I told Kirk as we were walking through one of the parks close by Starfleet Academy. Flowers were all around us, and the sounds of children playing made us both smile.

"Oh really?" he asked, smugly, reaching out for my hand to hold. I stepped out in front instead, and threw my arms around his neck.

"Really," I said, "I mean, how often is someone who has just graduated from Starfleet Academy given command of a great ship like the Enterprise?"

"True." He leaned in to kiss me, but I stopped him by putting one finger to his lips.

"Not here, there are kids watching," I whispered to him, before walking in front of him, and reaching out a hand for him to hold. Kirk walked over beside me, and took my hand in his.

"So, what do you have planned for me tonight?"

"It's a surprise," was all I said. I let go of his hand, and danced around in front of him like a little kid.

"What did you do before you came here?" Kirk asked me, after laughing at how carefree I was acting.

I stopped dancing, and smiled. "You're really random," I commented.

"I know."

"I was a ballet dancer in Spain." He laughed again, making me blush out of embarrassment. "What?"

"I should've known that; you look like a ballet dancer."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're just very petite and graceful."

I didn't even know we had a "look", but I guess we do. I'd been training with the Ballet Clasico de Madrid ever since I was little, and I'm so glad I left. Ballet was very strict as far as weight and appearance went. They made sure the top ballet dancers stayed under 100 pounds, and that just got really annoying.

Kirk wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we continued walking through the park until sunset. It felt so relaxing being with him. Something felt right for once, and all my cares seemed to melt away. It was nice contrast from Logan, who gave me angst every time I was with him.

We headed over to the girls' dorm in silence, just enjoying being with one another. "So, am I going to your room?" he asked, adding a wink and a smile.

I laughed, and said, "Yes, but for a different reason than what you're thinking." I knew very well what he was thinking, but that wouldn't happen tonight- I wouldn't allow it; it'd be taking things too quickly again. I took his hand, led him into the elevator, and up to the door of my room. The pounding of the bass of the music could be heard, and felt, from the hallway.

"Well, if you couldn't tell by the loud music and everything, I threw you a party," I trailed off, a bit embarrassed for actually doing so.

Kirk opened up the door, and smiled down at me. "Should we go in, or are we just going to stay in the hallway?" he asked, and I smiled back at him and nodded.

I grabbed both of us some drinks, while Kirk said 'hi' to McCoy.

* * *

"Johanna, I need to talk to you again. We never finished our conversation," I heard Logan say. Kirk and I were sitting on the couch together. I had my head rested on his shoulder, and he had his arm draped around me. We both looked behind us, and saw a drunken Logan standing there.

"Logan, who invited you?" I yelled, irritated that he had the balls to show up. He ignored the question, and stormed around to the front of us, yanking me onto my feet. "Hey, what gives? There's nothing to talk about, and you're keeping me from relaxing."

"Is this Kirk?" he asked, furiously, glaring at both Kirk and me.

"It's none of your business, Log-" his hand came up and slapped me. Kirk was immediately on his feet, ready to beat the shit out of Logan. The only thing keeping them from fighting was me in the middle, holding both of them back. "Hey, guys, not here, not now-" I yelled, only to be pushed out of the way by Kirk, who was now fighting with Logan. "Guys, please stop, you're drawing attention to yourselves." It was no use, Kirk had Logan pinned down on the floor, punching him repetitively in the face. "Kirk, stop it, please! He's had enough, let it go!" I screamed. He finally stopped, and rose up onto his feet.

"Let's get out of here," Kirk mumbled, and grabbed my hand, leading me out the door, and back onto the campus. "Who the hell was that?" he asked, obviously furious at the fact Logan had hit me.

"That was my ex, Logan," I replied, looking down at me feet.

"And you put up with that bullshit?" I nodded slowly, still looking down at my feet. "Is that how you got all of these bruises?"

Automatically, my hand flew up to the entire right side of my face where the greenish bruises were. Kirk gently moved my hand away from my face, and tilted my head up to look at him. He still felt furious, but he didn't look it, so that was a good thing.

Then, he pulled me into a comforting hug, which made me feel a little better. I was terrified to go back to my dorm. What if Logan was waiting for me to return? It would be worse than the abuse has ever been, probably. I felt terribly that Kirk was getting involved in my problems, and I just hoped it wouldn't ruin anything; but I wouldn't think about that today, I'll think about it tomorrow. As Scarlett O'Hara always says, "Tomorrow is another day." All that mattered now was that I was with Kirk, and I was fine.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Kirk asked. I nodded, and smiled, taking his hand as he led me to his dorm.

**Well, there was the next chapter; I hope you all liked it. I've already started to right the next chapter, so it should be out soon. As always, please review, I love getting reviews, and they keep me motivated to write.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey you guys! Here's the next chapter; I hope you all like it. Thank you so much for the reviews, keep them coming please ******

**Disclaimer: is the same as always, I only own Jo, and all the other OCs that come along.**

"I'm sorry about the crappy surprise party," I told Kirk, as we lay in his bed. He held me close to him, and I rested my head on his chest.

He laughed, and quietly said, "Don't worry about it, Jo; it was entertaining, and besides," he began to trail off, obviously embarrassed to say, "it's nice just being here with you.

I smiled to myself; Kirk obviously wasn't used to feeling this way with anyone before. In fact, I wasn't used to it either.

Nothing happened later on in the night; Kirk seemed to realize that all I needed was him being there for me, keeping me distracted from all those anxious thoughts. I fell asleep in his arms, and I was at peace- at least for the moment.

I got up before Kirk, and the images of Logan hitting me began to replay over and over in my head. I needed to distract myself before a panic attack would come on. One thing I've learned about myself over the years is that I get anxious really easily- and it sucked.

I gently removed myself from Kirk's embrace, and quietly rolled out of bed, in search of something to do.

I settled on baking, since I wasn't allowed to smoke anymore. It was my second attempt in baking, and I had no clue what I was doing- it was actually entertaining since I didn't know how many eggs to put in, or how much sugar to put in.

Kirk woke up around the time the brownies were finished. "Jo, you're making a mess," he mumbled, still half-asleep as he walked into the kitchen. I had flour on my face, and all over the counter. The baking supplies were strewn all over the place.

"It was already a mess," I replied, joking around with him.

"True." He came up from behind me, and hugged me. "What are you doing anyways?" he asked, curiously.

"Just baking. I was upset."

"So you baked," he said, a bit surprised. I nodded as he walked over to the freshly made brownies, and tried one, but then stopped chewing.

"What?"

"This is the worst brownie I've ever tasted." He began to laugh as he threw the rest of the brownie into the trash.

I had to laugh too; I'd expected that, but I wasn't expecting anyone to actually eat them. "Yeah, I kind of figured that out; I'm not much of a baker."

"What is this song?" Kirk asked. I'd put on music to listen to while baking. He seemed to like it, even though he looked like someone who wouldn't like this type of music.

_You and me have seen everything to see_

_From Bangkok to Calgary_

_And the soles of your shoes are all worn down_

_The time for sleep is now_

_It's nothing to cry about_

_'cause we'll hold each other soon_

_In the blackest of rooms_

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark," I answered, dumping the rest of the brownies into the garbage.

"So why were you upset?" he asked, as his arms snaked around my waist, and pulled me closer to him.

"I don't want to talk about it; I'm finally in a good mood."

There was Kirk's familiar smirk again. Why did I have to like him so much? It would be so much easier to be alone in a job like ours, and yet, I'm glad I'm not alone- it's a lot more comforting. "Alright, fair enough," he simply said, and then totally changed the subject like he normally does. "So, what are you planning on doing for your last day on the earth for a while?"

"What? We only get two days home, and then we have to go back into space- not that I don't like space, I love it; I just thought I'd have more time."

He laughed again. "Yeah, but duty calls. There's been a disturbance in the Delta Quadrant, and Admiral Pike wants us to check it out. He says it's probably nothing, but he just wants to make sure."

I nodded, and smiled. "Well, I wanted to go running just to get some fresh air, and then afterwards I was going to try and talk to Nikki. She's been ignoring me ever since she saw us kissing."

"Does she not like me, or something?" He was joking around I could tell, but he hit the nail on the head- or something like that.

"Yeah, she thinks you're pompous, and a man whore," I looked down at my hands, afraid to see his reaction. Luckily, he laughed, which was always a good sign.

"Ouch," he exclaimed, sarcastically, "she's just so mean." I laughed along with him, as we headed out the door for breakfast, seeing as neither of us could cook.

* * *

The entire crew of the Enterprise headed into the shuttlecrafts that would take us up to space. My heart was pounding with excitement, as I stepped into the shuttlecraft that was reserved for all crewmembers that served on the bridge. I took the only remaining seat next to Chekov, and buckled up.

"Hello, Yohanna!" Chekov said, a bit too cheerfully for it being so early in the morning; but it still was refreshing as always to talk to him.

"Hey, how are you?" I tried to match his enthusiasm, but failed miserably. I wasn't that much of an early morning person. If I'd had some extra strong coffee, I would've been able to achieve that enthusiasm; but no, we had to go and run out off coffee back in my dorm room.

"I'm doing wery vell, and how are you?"

"Very tired, but still good and excited."

The shuttlecraft lurched forward, and we were finally taking off to board the ship that, ironically (and I say ironically because we'd almost died on it) felt safe, and it was almost starting to feel like home. Chekov was talking about how he was so excited to be sitting back in his usual spot again, but I'd stopped listening when Kirk caught my eye. He was sitting diagonally adjacent to me, talking with Spock for a while, before looking over at me and winking,

I smiled back at him, and went back to listening to Chekov, while looking out the window as we soared through the atmosphere, and up into space. "Zere it is!" Chekov whispered to both of us, as we approached the Spacedock. "You ready?" Chekov asked, as we docked. He unbuckled the seatbelt, and stood up, offering out a hand to help me up. I took his hand, and he pulled me up onto my feet.

I wavered a bit, before steadying myself, and said, "You know it!" We both exited the shuttlecraft, and looked around, awestruck; as if it were the first time we were seeing all of this. The spacedock was buzzing with activity- shuttlecrafts were flying all around, either docking, or taking off, and the sounds of the machines running- all of it just made me want to be on the Enterprise even more.

Nikki ran over to me, and hugged me. "Hey sweetie, isn't it amazing? No matter how many times I come up here, it never seizes to amaze me," she told me, nodding politely to Chekov. She and I had cleared the air last night; but she still despises Kirk. She's convinced he's going to break my heart; I only said, "Whatever happens, happens, and I'll deal with it."

I was still taking in everything around me until Nikki scolded, "Close your mouth, Jo, you look like you're trying to catch flies." Same old Nikki as always; nothing's changed since the first time I met her.

"Thanks, Nikki," I said, sarcastically, causing Chekov to laugh a little bit.

"Do you guys vant to head over to ze Enterprise, since zat's vere eweryone is heading?" Chekov piped in before Nikki had a response.

All three of us entered onto the ship, and Nikki waved goodbye as she went her separate way to sickbay.

"Johanna, walk with me," I heard Kirk call from behind us. Chekov and

I stopped walking, and turned around to face Kirk.

I nodded quickly, and replied, "Yes, sir." We walked in the opposite direction from Chekov. "How are you, Captain?" It was beginning to feel normal calling Kirk Captain- I never thought it would, but it does.

"You know, you don't need to call me Captain when no one else is around. I won't turn you in." A wide, genuine smile spread across his face.

"Sorry, I actually didn't know." We both laughed, as we continued to walk through the winding halls of the Enterprise.

"So, you're doing well? Everything go okay yesterday and today?" He was referring to both Logan and Nikki. I actually had a mini panic attack during breakfast yesterday because I'd gotten overwhelmed with thoughts of what I was going to do with both Nikki and Logan. I pulled out a cigarette, only to have it snatched out of my hand by Kirk. I let out a groan, only to have it answered by, "I'm not going to let you smoke on my ship, and you shouldn't be smoking anyways, because, just in case the surgeon general never told you, it's unhealthy, and can kill you. So how are you? You never answered my first question."

I laughed, and said, "I'm fine, in fact, I'm super! I mean, it's so exhilarating being on this ship, you know?"

"Yeah, it's pretty kick ass, isn't it?" We turned around as we made our way back over to the elevator that would take us up to the bridge.

"So how are you?" I asked, while we were waiting for the elevator that would bring both of us to the bridge.

I'm amazing, as always," he said, confidently, causing me to laugh even more. The doors swished open, and we walked hand in hand together into the elevator. I pressed the stop button right before we reached the bridge. Kirk smiled over at me, and leaned in to kiss me, but I took a step backwards to keep myself from getting caught up in the moment and wind up kissing him. "Oh, c'mon, Jo, why do you always have to do that?"

I smiled, and shrugged. "Well, I just need to talk to you, and tell you how sorry I am for freaking out yesterday morning. I didn't mean for you to ever see that," I confessed, nervously. I wasn't used to apologizing, so this was kind of awkward for me.

He laughed even more. "Why are you apologizing? Everyone freaks out over something. It's normal to, Jo. Now will you kiss me, God damnit?"

I smiled, and nodded; our lips met, and all the awkwardness I'd felt before melted away into a feeling of total, and complete bliss. How was it Kirk made me feel this way? This whole quick heart rate, stomach flipping, head spinning kind of thing.

**Well there was the next chapter; I hope you guys liked it. It was kind of a filler, but I still hope you guys liked it. As always, review please. It's greatly appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter, I hope you all like it. Reviews are always appreciated, and it doesn't take long, just press that little button at the bottom of the page, and write a review, then click send! It's awesome and loads of fun, you all should try it ;)**

We were in mid-warp, on our way to the Delta quadrant. We'd received rumors that a ship had been attacked; however, those rumors aren't consistent, or confirmed. "Hello everyone, this is Captain Kirk," Kirk announced over the intercom. "I figured I should fill you in on our mission. Admiral Pike has ordered us to investigate a disturbance in the Delta Quadrant. It's probably nothing, but I want sickbay ready, just in case, and all weapons on standby. Kirk out." Kirk turned off the loudspeaker. He seemed a bit worried, but he hid it well, like always, with that casual attitude of lounging in the Captain's chair, and smirking. "Lieutenant Espinosa, are you picking up anything?" I turned my chair around to face him.

"No, Captain, I'm only getting air waves." Whether that was a good or bad thing was debatable, but I was hoping it was a good sign.

"Well keep listening; there's got to be something."

"Yes sir." I spun my chair back around to face the computes. I scanned all frequencies again, and finally heard someone- it was muffled, and static made it extremely difficult to hear; but it was, indeed, something. My heart leapt with excitement as I listened for anymore feedback.

"Dropping out of warp in five… four… three… two… one," Sulu counted down, and we dropped out of warp. Ship debris was floating all around us, as we all stared at the horrific sight. A ship, or at least part of a ship, was still in tact, trying to avoid hitting the floating debris around them. People around me were running all around to different computers; the noise increased to the point where I couldn't even think to myself, let alone hear anyone over the frequency. Kirk's well-composed stature was starting to crumble a little, but nothing drastic. He was, as he put it, awesome. Sulu and Chekovs' faces looked serious and concentrated as they stared down at the computers.

"Hello, Hello, is someone there?" I asked over the frequency that I'd heard something on. "Hello, this is the Enterprise, is someone there?" Everyone was staring at the mutilated ship, trying to figure out what happened.

"Yes, yes, we're here," the voice was fading in and out. "Thank goodness you're here. There are only four of us left, and we're running out of oxygen."

"Hold on, calm down, sir," I said, trying not to panic, "we'll send someone down there immediately; just hang on." Kirk and Spock looked at me curiously. "Captain, there are four survivors still on that ship; they don't have much time left. They're running out of air."

Kirk immediately called McCoy and told him to meet him and Spock in the transport room immediately. Then he and Spock quickly ran out of the bridge, leaving all of us to our jobs, alone, without any instructions. "Are you there, ma'am?" the stranded person asked, sounding frantic.

"Yes, yes I'm here. We've already got a group going out to rescue all of you."

The man's breathing was getting shallower and shallower, until I couldn't hear anything at all. "Captain," I said as I switched over to his frequency, "I've lost him, is everything okay?" Spock, Kirk, and McCoy's health readings all were fine, so why'd I loose that guy?

"I don't know, Johanna; two are dead, one's unconscious, and the other is having trouble staying conscious. We're teleporting them back right now," then Kirk ended our transmition so they could teleport back.

What the hell happened here? The ship wasn't trespassing or breaking any rules- there was nothing for miles and miles, and this was neutral territory. Nothing should've happened here; so what was the motive for the attack? Had the Betazoids started a secret feud with the Ba'kus we never heard about? Or was it just some rogue Ba'kus who felt like killing a ship load of people?

"Is ewerything okay?" Chekov asked,

I shrugged. "I have no clue, we only have two survivors; the rest of the crew is dead."

Everything remained quiet as we waited for Kirk and Spock. Why was everything suddenly quiet? Everyone was supposed to be freaking out like I was. What the hell was going on that was taking them so long? Over the communicator, I heard Spock say, calm as always, "Lieutenant Espinosa, we require your assistance in sickbay."

"Yes, sir. I'll be right down." I made my way down to sickbay, and found Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all huddled around the two remaining survivors. One looked incredibly terrified, and the other was still unconscious.

"Lieutenant Espinosa," Kirk said, "we need your help to calm him down, and to figure out what happened. He's Betazoid, like you, so you might be a comfort to him."

I nodded, and walked over to the frightened Betazoid, and began speaking his native tongue. His name was Andrus, and he was the chief of medical; he told me the Ba'ku's had attacked them with a device that slowly- and painfully- suffocated them, and deprived them of life; the Ba'ku's didn't have a motive for the attack.

I relayed the message back to Kirk.

"Well, that's," he paused looking for the right word, "different. Well, it looks like we're going to be paying a visit to our Ba'ku friends." Then over his communicator, he told Chekov, "Plot a change of course for Ba'ku."

"Alright, thank you, Lieutenant Espinosa; you may return to the bridge," Spock said, and then turned around to talk to Kirk and McCoy.

* * *

It was an unbelievably long day. It never failed, I'd look up from my computer, thinking we'd almost be there, but then I'd be reminded by Chekov, who seemed to find it quiet amusing, that it would take about three days at warp speed to arrive there. Three whole days! I would've thought warp speed wouldn't take that long, but it apparently does; the name is very misleading in my opinion.

I was in my room- my organized, simple room with a comfy bed on the floor, and a couple of chairs sitting around a cozy fire place- trying to relax, when there was a knock on my door. I let out a frustrated sigh, annoyed that someone was keeping me from completely blocking out the world around me. I rose up from out of my chair, and walked over to the door, pressing the open button a bit harder than I meant to; the doors swished open. Chekov was standing there with that contagious grin plastered on his face. _How in the world does he stay so happy?_

"Oh, hey Chekov," I said, a bit surprised to see him. "What's up?"

"I vas just asked to check up on you," he answered, still smiling. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Chekov," I replied, politely, then asked, "Who told you to check up on me?"

"Keptain Kirk; he vas vorried zat today might have shaken you up."

"No," I lied, "it didn't. Do you know where Captain Kirk is?"

"At ze bar with Dr. McCoy and Scotty. Why?"

"Oh, just wondering," I said, casually. Why did Kirk think I needed someone to check up on me? Did he assume I'd be freaking out like that last breakfast on earth?

"Alright zen; vell, have a good night, Yohanna," he said, cheerfully.

"You too, Chekov," I called after him, before going in the opposite direction of Chekov over to the ship's bar.

I saw them sitting in the middle of the bar, joking around and laughing. Did I really want to ruin Kirk's fun time? Would he think I was annoying or something? I really didn't want him to think that. _Oh, just go and talk to him, he'll never know what you're thinking or feeling unless you tell him. _I walked over to them, and tapped Kirk on the shoulder. He smiled at me, winking, and said, "Hey, Jo, how's it going?" He wrapped one arm around my waist, and chugged down a beer. I pushed his arm away, a little annoyed, "Oh, I'm sorry, Jo. Did you want a drink?" He waved the bartender down, and ordered me a beer.

"Hey, Jim, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked, quietly.

"Jim? Since when did you call me by my first name?"

I shrugged. "That's irrelevant; can I just talk to you right now?"

"Yeah, okay." I led him over to an empty table, and sat him down. "So, what's up?"

"Why'd you send Chekov to check up on me?" I was a bit irked that he thought I couldn't take care of myself- although I was probably overreacting.

"What? Are you upset about that?" He asked, in shock, thinking I would've appreciated it.

"I don't know," I said, a little frustrated that I had voiced this stupid thing. "Was that seriously necessary? You know, for your information, I can take care of myself. I'm not a little kid; if something 'shakes me up' a little, I can calm myself down."

"So you were a little bothered by what you saw today?"

"No, I was fine." I looked down at my hands. _Jo, stop overreacting, he was just making sure you were okay. _

Kirk took my hands, and quietly said, "Stop fidgeting Jo, it's all going to be okay."

He was confusing me. "What's going to be okay?"

"Whatever you're worrying about that's making you fidget." I nodded, and tried to relax. He was right; everything would be okay in the end. It always was, right? I pulled my hands away from him, realizing that people could see us. "What's wrong now?"

"What if people find out about us? They'll think it's the only way I got the position I have now."

"Well, wasn't that the way you got it?" He asked, joking around with me; I punched him in the arm. "Hey, okay, alright. I was joking; you deserved it. And so what?

"What?"

"So who cares?" I shrugged, and he got out of his seat. "Do you want to come over and drink with us? It wouldn't be a party without you." He smirked, and winked at me.

I shook my head. I need to get out of here soon, or else I would give in and get drunk. That's what always happened. "No, I think I'm going to head back to my room. Maybe some other time."

He nodded, and kissed my forehead, causing Scotty and Bones to whistle at us. I blushed, and quickly walked out of the room.

**Well, I hope you all like it. Review please! I'll try and get the next chapter out Wednesday or maybe even sooner.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey loves! Here's the next chapter, I hope you all like it. It's coming down to the end, but there will be a sequel. As always, review please, and I will love you even more :)**

Why'd I have to be so stupid and have to bring that up? Kirk probably thinks I'm a dork now. I still felt myself blushing as I walked back to my room. I was one of those people who became embarrassed over the smallest things like being whistled at, tripping, or forgetting someone's name- not that those things happened a lot, but when they did I would turn beet red.

I was back in my room, finally getting around to relaxing. I stripped down to my sports bra and a pair of shorts; Lost! was blasting loudly from the speakers, and I was sprawled out on the floor with my very first stuffed animal I brought everywhere with me: a moose. I felt pretty lame for still having it, but he was a comfort to me.

_I just got lost_

_Every river that I tried to cross_

_Every door I ever tried was locked_

_Ohhh and I'm..._

_Just waiting 'til the shine wears off_

_You might be a big fish_

_In a little pond_

_Doesn't mean you've won_

_'Cause along may come_

_A bigger one_

_And you'll be lost_

_Every river that you tried to cross_

_Every gun you ever held went off_

_Ohhh and I'm..._

_Just waiting until the firing stopped_

_Ohhh and I'm..._

_Just waiting 'til the shine wears off_

I couldn't help but think about what was going on with my relationship with Kirk. Were we a "thing" like Nikki had called it previously? I felt like it was going somewhere, but I just wasn't sure if he was just using me or something. What Nikki had said the day before we took off about Kirk just being a man whore was really getting to me. I really hoped I wasn't like all the other girls he'd been with; I actually think I really like him, more so than I did any other guy I'd dated. He was sweet, funny, smart, and everything I had imagined when I was a little girl, even though he was a little cocky, but that just made him even funnier.

I shut my eyes, and mouthed along with the words, painting a picture in my head from the lyrics. My racing thoughts finally slowed down, and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up!" Kirk said, and I slowly opened my heavy eyelids to see Kirk standing next to me, looking down at me. "What, you couldn't even make it to bed before falling asleep?"

I moaned, a bit annoyed at being woken up this early in the morning when she didn't have to get up. It was four in the morning. "Ha ha ha, you're so funny," I replied, sarcastically, as Kirk helped me up onto my feet. "How'd you get in here, and why are you waking me up so early?"

He only laughed. How was he so wide-awake this early? It kind of got on my nerves. "Go get dressed, we're going to breakfast."

Gross, early morning breakfast. It screws up the whole day as far as eating goes. Early morning breakfast meant an early lunch and dinner; which sucks because it puts everything off schedule. I did as he said; I slipped on the usual red dress and black boots, and we heading out of the room, down to breakfast.

Down at the ship's cafeteria, we were the only ones there. Most like everyone was doing what I wanted to be doing: sleeping. My head was bobbing up and down as I fought to stay awake. We both remained quiet as we ate our meals consisting of eggs, bacon, and toast.

"You're awfully quiet today," Kirk pointed out.

"I'm tired, I'm supposed to be sleeping right now."

He laughed, and went back to eating. I took a sip of my coffee, and sighed. It was going to be another long day of sitting up on the bridge, waiting till we arrived. At least it was our last day of just sitting around- well, actually I was the only one sitting around. I had nothing to do until we arrived at Ba'ku. I decided to see what Kirk was thinking. He was thinking about the same thing I had been thinking about. He seemed nervous about starting something, but it made me feel a bit better. I wasn't just like the other girls, I was actually something to him, which made me smile

Kirk finished eating, while I was still pushing my food around on my plate. "So tell me about your family life," he said, trying to get a conversation out of me. "You avoided talking about it the last time it was brought up."

I smiled, and let out another sigh. I told him how my family moved down to Spain when I was three- my dad wanted me to learn about my Spanish heritage. "My mother was always up in space, working, and my father would always be out drinking, no matter what time of the day it was," I told Kirk, "I was basically raised at the Ballet Clasico de Madrid, and how every time I was at home alone in the living room, I would hold my arms up, and I'd pretend it was a Spanish officer, and he would so 'Johanna, do you want to dance?' and I'd say, 'Daddy I would love to dance.'

"So that's basically how my whole family life went," I said, looking down at my plate full of food, "at least until my mother died; and then I came to Starfleet Academy with hopes of filling her very large footprints." Kirk took my hand, and smiled at me. I smiled back, and then went back to pushing my food around, and occasionally eating something.

As I'd predicted, it was another long and boring day of just waiting. I did manage to stay awake, which came as a surprise to me. I spent the majority of the time listening to different frequencies, which were all clear, and spinning around in my chair like a little kid, trying to entertain myself.

Thankfully Kirk let us off early so we could get some rest, since it was going to be an earlier, more tiresome day. All of us exited the bridge with a sigh of relief that the waiting was almost over; we were less than 24 hours away from arriving at Ba'ku, and I think that helped the entire crews' moral.

As always, I headed back to my room, stripped down to the usual sports bra and shorts, and layed down in bed; ready to catch up on the sleep I had missed this morning. The only bad thing was that I wasn't tired anymore. I was too antsy to sleep; I needed to get up and do something. What that something was, I had no idea, but I needed to get up.

I threw on my clothes, and decided to head down to sickbay to see how the two remaining Betazoids were doing. Nikki led me over to their hospital beds; but unfortunately, both of them were sleeping.

"They're both really tired today," Nikki explained when she saw my disappointed expression. "We've been running a lot of tests on them to make sure they're okay. You could come back later to see how they're doing; they should be up by then." The sounds of their heart-rate monitors were slower than everyone else's. It almost sounded like music with the beeping; everyone around them was on the beat, and they were on the offbeat.

Nikki ushered me out of sickbay, leaving me with nothing else to do. I was really tempted to drink now out of boredom. I began walking back to my room, thinking about Kirk again.

"Jo," I heard as I was walking slowly back to my room. I turned around, and saw Kirk walking up to me with his usual adorable smile. I returned the smile, finally knowing what I'd be doing tonight. "Hey, I was just on my way to see if you'd want to come back to my room." Still smiling, I nodded, and went over to hug him. "So, you doing okay today?" he asked, as we walked down to his room, hand in hand, not caring who saw us.

"Yeah, I've just been a little bored today."

Kirk smirked as we entered into his room, the door closing behind us. "Well, I think we can change that," he said, before leaning in to kiss me.

Kirk was right; I wasn't bored the rest of the night, and I sure as hell didn't get any sleep either; which I was totally fine with since I wasn't tired was a rapid knock at the door as we were laying there in his bed. Kirk rolled out of bed, quickly slipped on his gold shirt and black pants, and went to answer the door. I covered myself with the sheets.

Spock was standing there, calm as always, even though I could tell something was up. "Captain, the Ba'ku leader, Ru'afo, wishes to speak with you," Spock informed Kirk, before quickly heading back to the bridge.

Kirk gave me an apologetic look, as he followed Spock to the bridge.

_Jo, get your ass out of bed, and head up to the bridge; the day has already started _I told myself. I quickly rolled out of bed, and slipped on my clothes from the other day.

I ran down the narrow hallways, and up to the bridge to find Kirk arguing with the man I assumed to be Ru'afo- about what, I had no idea, but I was pretty sure I'd find out soon enough.

**Sorry to end it there; you'll find out what happens as soon as I get the next chapter out, I promise. There should be either two to three more chapters left until I begin writing the sequel, so yay! Oh yeah, and kudos to anyone who picks up the Chorus Line sentence :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here's the second to last chapter.. I hope you all like it. As always, please review :)**

On the bridge, I quietly snuck over to my seat without anyone noticing me, while Kirk was talking with the leader of Ba'ku, who was on the ship opposite to us. I looked around me at everyone; they all looked serious, paying attention to every word that was exchanged.

"You still haven't answered my question," Kirk pointed out, a little bit irritated with Ru'afo. "Why did you attack the Betazoid ship? You had no right-"

"I had every right. They stole our plans for a device that could wipe out an entire planet by slowly suffocating the planet's inhabitants without destroying the planet itself," Ru'afo explained as if anyone would do the same thing. "They were trying to prevent us from using it-"

"Which they should," Kirk responded, his temper was rising with every word Ru'afo said. "It is considered a felony to possess a doomsday device; you should be aware of that since you are the leader of a planet-"

Kirk obviously hit a soft spot, causing Ru'afo to yell, "I am no longer leader. My entire planet impeached me, declaring that I was too cruel to be a leader."

What was he planning on doing why would he create a doomsday device? Was he planning on attacking his own planet with that same device he had used on the Betazoid ship? Or was he first planning on attacking us before the planet? My question was answered by the eerie smile on his face that confirmed my fear. I immediately rose from my seat, and walked over to Kirk, who was currently speaking quietly with Spock on what to do. "Captain," I whispered, "he's planning on attacking his own planet with the same device he used against the Betazoid ship."

Both he and Spock looked up at me, as Kirk asked, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Either that, or they're planning on attacking us first."

Kirk nodded, and quietly told the crew, "Prepare to fire all weapons." I quickly returned to my seat. Chekov looked over at me; I could tell he was a little nervous- in fact, we all were. This might be our last mission before we're all blown to smithereens. _Stop it Jo, you're thinking negatively again. _

Suddenly, the computers all around us began to beep, signaling the enemy ship had locked weapons on us. Ru'afo disappeared from the screen, as Kirk yelled out, "Fire all weapons!" We were the first to hit the other ship, but it didn't take long for them to return the blow. Chaos ensued on the bridge as our ship was jolted backwards.

"Shields at 70 percent, Sir," Sulu informed Kirk

The noise on the bridge heightened as everyone began yelling over the computers. "Continuous fire; I want that rogue ship destroyed," Kirk ordered.

"Shields at 50 percent, Sir," Sulu called out, as we took another blow. Several people fell out of the seats as the ship jolted violently backwards again.

_Why isn't their ship destroyed yet? _As soon as that thought entered my head, there was the huge fiery explosion I'd been hoping for. I mean, I know it's mean to wish death upon others, but when they kill your own kind.

"Scotty," Kirk said over the communicator, "what's the damage report?"

"Our warp drive has been affected, Captain. We can't go into warp until it gets fixed," we all heard Scotty say. Great, we were going to be stuck out here.

"How long will it take to fix?" Kirk asked; that 'everything-is-a-okay' look was on his face again for some reason.

"Four days, sir, but I'll have it done in two." A sigh of relief washed over the entire bridge. Two days more wouldn't be so bad; who knows, it might be relaxing.

Afterwards, all of us went down to the bar to celebrate our accomplishment, even though we were sure this wouldn't be the only time we'd have an encounter with Ba'ku. I sat with Chekov, away from the temptation of drinking, and we were just joking around, having a good time. He really was a sweet kid, and a genius. He made me feel like I was stupid- which I knew I wasn't. A semi-drunk Scotty, Kirk, and Bones joined us later on in the night, which made me want to drink, but lucky Bones was sober enough to keep me from drinking.

Spock and Uhura- who'd been in sickbay for classified reasons- were sitting together at the opposite end of the room. Much to my dismay, they actually looked cute. They both looked like they cared about each other, and I actually felt happy that both of them were together.

I looked over at Kirk, and smiled at him. As always, he winked over at me, and continued talking with Scotty and Bones while I was talking with Chekov.

That night, I spent the night in Kirk's room again. It felt like we were closer than ever, and that nothing around us existed. We sat on his couch, drinking wine- even though I wasn't supposed to be drinking- and just relaxing after a pretty stressful day.

Kirk seemed to realize that I needed to be with someone to keep me from freaking out; he was starting to pick up on what would set off my panic attacks.

"So, what do you want to do on our two days off?" I asked, casually, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I don't know; hang out with you, probably celebrate with Bones and Scotty that I haven't screwed up yet-"

"And you won't," I interrupted, reassuring him. He smiled that adorable, heart-warming smile, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He suddenly became embarrassed, however, and looked away from me, removing his arm from around my shoulders. "What's wrong?" I asked, becoming increasingly paranoid at the way he was acting. Why was he acting like that? Did I happen to do something wrong? "If you don't tell me, I'll find out one way or another."

"You're terrible at threatening, Jo," Kirk said, joking around with me. Annoyed, I rose up from the couch, only to have Kirk pull me back down. "Alright clam down, Jo, I'll tell you," he began to laugh before saying, "I don't know how to say this, but, it's just that I've never felt this way with any girl before. I've never been with someone who doesn't want just sex- which, you know sex is great and all, but it's mainly all the girls I've been with want- or who tells me what they feel or what they think; it's different."

"Is it a good different?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so.

I couldn't help but smile as I listened to this. He actually felt the way I felt, which made me feel like I was normal for once.

"Being up in space is so relaxing," I commented, starting to feel a little tired.

"Yeah; but enjoy it while it lasts, it seems like everything's going by so quickly; before you know it we could be on another crazy mission, or back on earth again."

* * *

Kirk was right, everything did go by quickly. Six months later, Kirk and I were still together, and the entire crew of the Enterprise was granted time off after a couple of rescue missions. Not everything was perfect, however. Kirk and I got into a couple of fights like every normal couple does, and we'd lost a lot of crew members in engineering, along with the two Betazoids; all of it was due to the attacks one after another, filling up sick bay with loads of people, keeping the doctors and nurses busy at all times.

Kirk bought an apartment right outside of campus, seeing as we were no longer allowed to dorm there because we aren't students anymore, but we still needed to stay close for access to the shuttlecrafts.

I had moved in with Kirk- which I thought might be taking things too quickly, but Kirk reassured me it wasn't. I completely trusted him- which was rare for me, because I don't really trust that many people- and he trusted me.

Whatever the feeling was that I got whenever I was around him was amazing; I never wanted that feeling to leave. It was blissful being with him.

We were sitting on his old, dusty couch, watching old re-runs on the television; I was laying on top of him, my head resting against his chest. It was the simple things like this that made me so unbelievably happy. Kirk looked up at me, and I looked back at him, and we just stared at each other for a while, smiling, before Kirk brought my lips up to his, and gently kissed me, before I said, "I have something to tell you, I-"

"I what?" he asked, smiling; he probably knew what I was going to say already.

"Never mind," I replied, shyly, trying to drop the subject.

"Oh c'mon, tell me." He was still smiling that amazing smile of his.

I shook my head. "No, and besides, you probably already know what I'm going to say anyways, so why don't you just say it?"

"Because I don't want to be the first on to say-"

There was a knock at the door, causing both of us to come back to the "real world". "I got it," I told Kirk, as I got up from the couch, and waltzed over to the door. I opened it, and saw a short, gangly postman standing there. "May I help you?" I asked the postman politely.

"Yes, I have a letter for Miss Johanna Espinosa." He reached into his bag, and pulled out a letter. By now, Kirk had come up behind me to see who was at the door.

"I'm Johanna." He handed me the letter, and then walked away. Kirk closed the door for me, as I whipped open the letter; it was written in Spanish, and I read it slowly and carefully, over and over, taking it all in.

"Jo, are you okay?" Kirk asked, cautiously, knowing something was wrong.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. My dad just died."

**Well there's the chapter, I hope you all liked it. There should be one more chapter left until I begin writing the sequel. Once again, review please; reviews keep me inspired to write :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, here's the final chapter of "Te Busque". Thank you so much to all of you who've reviewed, and put this on their favorite stories; that means so much to me. I'll have the sequel out in two days hopefully, so it shouldn't be too long of a wait ******

**Same disclaimer applies.**

I felt my whole world come crashing down. That was the very last thing I'd been expecting. It made sense that this would happen now when I was unbelievably happy. Some way or another, my dad always found a way to make me upset. I mean, I know he didn't mean or want to die; but still, I was pissed off, and yet, at the same time, I was terribly sad.

Without meaning or wanting to, I began to cry even more.

"Oh, Jo, I'm so sorry," Kirk whispered to me as he pulled me into a comforting hug. Why did this have to happen to me? It was a comfort to know that I had one parent alive; but now, that comfort disappeared into thin air.

I needed to stop crying; I needed something to distract me. I couldn't cry, I wouldn't allow myself to. I didn't want a perfect day to go down the drain. I reluctantly pulled myself away from Kirk, and all the comfort he was giving me. I wiped the tears away, walked over to the kitchen, and began to clean. Cleaning was my main distracter from life.

"What are you doing?" Kirk asked, a bit confused by my sudden mood swing. I put down the rag I was cleaning the counters with, and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm cleaning. Is that so bad? I'm allowed to clean, aren't I?"

By now, Kirk knew me well enough to know I was trying to distract myself to avoid facing my feelings. "You know, it's normal to be upset when a parent dies," he pointed out, as he walked over to me, and hugged me from behind. "You're allowed to cry. Nobody's going to judge you. Just know I'm here for you, an I, uh," I paused, and took a deep breath, trying to muster up the strength to say hardest word for him to say, "love you."

Did he just say what I think he said? I pinched my arm without him noticing to see if this all was a dream I would wake up from; but I didn't wake up. This was all really happening. I smiled, as the tears resurfaced again, and replied, shyly, "Thank, I love you too."

I turned around to face Kirk, and I kissed him. I kissed him even though the world I knew was falling apart around me. It was the only thing that felt right at the moment. Those words, and that passionate kiss was the only thing keeping me from loosing it. _Well, this is definitely a much better way of keeping my mind off things_ I thought, before Kirk pulled away, smiling, as he wiped away the newly fallen tears with one of his thumbs. I stood there, safe in his arms, resting my head against his chest, as he just held me for the longest time. I didn't want him to let go of me; that would bring me back to the painful reality of loosing my father.

"What can I do to help?" Kirk asked. The tears of sadness and happiness continued to fall from my eyes like an overflowing fountain. I was so confused on how I was feeling. On one hand I was indescribably upset because my father had just died, and on the other hand: Kirk told me he loved me, and I loved him back. I didn't know which emotion to feel more of.

"Just be there for me," I told him, quietly. "That's all I need right now."

The next morning, Kirk and I were lying in his bed. We were both on our sides, facing each other, as he asked, "When's your father's funeral?"

I groaned, not really wanting to talk about my father. "Do we really have to talk about this? I'm actually in a good mood today. You put me in such a great mood, and now you've got to bring my mood back down to the dumps?"

Kirk laughed, and pulled me even closer to him. "You're going to have to tell me sooner or later, so why not just tell me now?"

"Fine," I snapped, pushing myself away from him. "It's in a week."

Kirk looked over at me, looking a bit worried. "A week?"

I nodded, turning my back to him, trying to be mean, but failing miserably at it. I couldn't be mean to him; it was just impossible for me. He was too adorable to be mean to. I gave up, and rolled back around to face him. "Don't worry, I'm missing the funeral. I would never pass up a mission.

"Are you sure about that? I mean, it's fine if you skip out on this one. Everyone will understand."

"Do you not want me with you?" I asked, becoming a bit paranoid at how much he thought I should miss the mission.

"No, no, I want you to come. I was just letting you know you are allowed to miss this mission, and to make sure it's what you really want to do."

We'd just received another mission that we'd be on for about five years. Starfleet had just received information on a new planet with new life forms on it, and they wanted us to go check it out. The only bad thing was that we were leaving on the day of my father's funeral, which would mean I'd be missing the funeral.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I told him, "I don't want to let that bitch, Uhura, take my place."

Kirk laughed, and gently rolled on top of me, his arms were on either side of me, supporting him. He brought my lips up to his, and kissed me again, causing my heart to jump again. It never failed, every time he kissed me like that, it made my heart leap. I pushed back the tears that I had been fighting all morning, and I let myself enjoy the moment of complete and utter bliss.


End file.
